Scarier Places

I am traveling quite a bit for my job. In fact, in one year I will have been to Maine, Florida, California, and Alaska. And a bunch of places in-between.

So I think I can speak with a bit of authority about scary situations.
It’s probably not what you think.
Not dark alleys. Not gangs coming for you. There are scarier places:

  • Leaving the rental car lot. People are driving new vehicles, with strange new gadgets and controls, and trying to follow the GPS on their phones. My closest calls for accidents have been within the first five minutes of a rental car lot.
  • Anywhere near a cab. First, they’re already ticked off that Uber and Lyft drivers are taking their business. Most have been in the city for less than two weeks and have no idea where they are driving. But they drive there fast.
  • Anyone with shorts, brown socks, and a camera. They are tourists. They are dangerous. Keep your children and small pets away from them!
  • A mom in a line for a flight that’s been rescheduled or delayed. They are sleep deprived and they just want to get their babies home. They are hazardous.
  • Monster trucks. Why do we allow vehicles with tires larger than cars on the roads? Especially take note if there’s a Confederate flag, mud flaps with a woman on them, or bull testicles hanging from the hitch.
  • An emergency vehicle with flashing lights and siren. It’s not the firetruck or ambulance – it’s the people drafting right behind them and trying to get the edge through traffic.
  • Hungry basketball or baseball teams and a waffle maker in the hotel. Go for the yogurt and coffee.
  • Groups of middle school girls. Simply avoid them. They cause hearing loss and extreme annoyance.
  • Old people who complain about traveling. Oh, wait…

One thought on “Scarier Places

  1. Thank you for the laugh-out-loud read this morning. )Or should I say LOL to be PC). It was great comic relief for a stressful week of heat.
    What amazing insight!!!!

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