Trust

I was sitting in a coffee shop and the person next to me began speaking to me. He was very talkative, very intelligent, and very mentally ill. I would say we had a conversation, but that would mean I would have had the ability to say words in response. He covered a wide range of subjects and obviously was well read and had strong opinions.

About twenty minutes into my listening session, he left abruptly and then came back after about fifteen minutes. He then told me he was sure that a person sitting across the room was watching him, that his old laptop was without the proper protection, and this person was trying to access the “dark web” through his laptop. So he shut down his laptop and unplugged it, but “knew” this guy was still trying to hack into his laptop. “Oh my, look at the time, need to run…”

A few years ago I took a career and personality assessment. It’s purpose was to plan for the future and to make sure the jobs you look at fit your personality. Unhappiness with employment is often a mismatch of job and personality. I don’t remember much of the results other than one aspect of my personality is that I am trusting of others. The consultant said almost naively trusting of others. But if someone breaks that trust, it is almost impossible for them to earn back my trust.

This past week someone broke my trust. It was a person I consider a friend and known for many years. Someone who I trusted completely. I’m trying to understand their situation and their motivations, but it was crushing to find out I can’t trust this person.

My friend in the coffee shop lacks trust. He doesn’t trust the court system, the medical system, the political system, nor the guy across the room.

What causes us to lose trust? How does understanding the plight of others play into trust? When and how does forgiveness enter into trust? How do I find a better firewall for my laptop, in case that dude starts accessing the dark web through my computer?

 

 

3 thoughts on “Trust

  1. I’m sorry to read this. Grace to you as you struggle through what it means to lose and maybe regrant trust again.

    It was really good catching up with you briefly on the phone.

    >

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